If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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