Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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