I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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