It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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