Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
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Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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