Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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