The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize