If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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