"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
please come you make the beer taste better
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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