So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize