have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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