I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize