I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize