she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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