Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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