dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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