Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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