I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
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officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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