So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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