What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize