I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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