You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I cockslap morals
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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