my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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