We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So much rum. So many feels.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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