he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
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well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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