It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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