Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
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I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
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Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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