yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize