In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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