We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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