is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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