I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize