so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize