take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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