I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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