Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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