Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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