You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize