Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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