ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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