Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize