I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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