i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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