from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
this just has baby written all over it
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize