Im at strip club and am horny
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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