I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize