Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize