wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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