In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize