I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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